Why I fired my secretary

 

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
  
 I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and possibly have a small present for me.
  
 As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
  
 I thought...Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....They will remember.
  
 My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
 So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
  
 As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
  
 I worked until
one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
  
 We went to lunch, but we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.  On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...

We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?"
  
 I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"   She said, "Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner."
  
 After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."   "Ok," I nervously replied.
  
 She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came
 out carrying a huge birthday cake...   
  
 Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday.
  
 .......and I just sat there...
  
 on the couch...
  
 Naked.